Return to Lady Mountain

Load 'er up. It was Terry’s spring break, and with the van all packed, we set out for the Utah desert on a resplendent afternoon. The road was calling. Destination: Zion National Park. The main objective: climb Lady Mountain.

My interest in Lady goes back to 2009 when Terry and I led four others, including Ter’s brother, Dan, on an ascent up the old trail—and I use the term “trail” loosely here. It hasn’t been maintained in fifty years. It’s rugged, hazardous, and not shown on any Park maps—in other words, my kind of trail. However, it took us way too long to find the start, and with the day getting late, we turned back two-thirds of the way up. (This is not a route to be caught descending after dark.) Flash forward to 2016, my long-time friend, Kevin Feldman, contacted me and wanted to rendezvous in Zion for some hiking and biking. “Sure thing,” I said, “but we gotta climb Lady Mountain.” Hence, once again, I scaled that nefarious trail with three of my pals—and once again, didn’t make the summit. We did get closer this time. But being close only counts when throwing horseshoes or hand grenades.

So now the pressure was on. With two strikes against me, I was stepping back up to the plate. But as they say: “The third time’s a charm.” This adage harks back to Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor, but this is what I was banking on. The lucky third try. I was stoked. There was no turning back. We’re doing this! However, there was only one. Little. Hitch. What do we do with the puppy?

Yep. No sooner had I made the campsite reservations back in February, than Terry was in contact with a family who was selling poodle puppies. Not one of those little critters, but a full standard poodle (picture a horse with curly hair). “They’re very intelligent,” she told me. Ha! Poodles, I countered, are wild animals. Don’t take my word for it, check out this video, which is pretty much how it went down. Regardless of my warning, we got the pooch. His name is Toby. And he was going to Zion.

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Toby the Trailblazer adapted to the van life like a duck to water. That said, the only reason he got to come on this trip—we certainly couldn’t take him up Lady Mountain—was because there was a kennel outside Springdale where we could board him for the day (where he had a puppy playmate, so he was quite content).    

Lady Mountain as viewed from the Zion Lodge. The old Cable Route snakes up the east
ramparts of the mountain, exploiting weaknesses up through the rock bands and along shear
walls. It’s a classic adventure climb and both of us were fixated on bagging the summit
this time. We planned to jump on it first thing Tuesday morning.

Terry scales the Moki Steps corner, the first obstacle at the start of the climb, and the first (of several) “don’t fall” zones. 

Bam! We’re through the first rock band. Our modus operandi for the day was to move fast. There would be no lunch break: all we carried were two Cliff bars, an apple, and just enough water to get the job done. Also a short rope and a couple of cams for pro.    

Ter makes a delicate traverse in the second rock band. The route threads up along ledges
and fissures in the headwall, the last obstacle being the Chimney pitch where we’ll flake
out the rope and do it fifth-class.  

Once the technical sections are behind us, we drop the rope and scramble up the Endless Staircase. Due to the exposure along these precarious walls, steel cables were installed back in the day to use as a hand line. However, this hardware was all removed when the Park Service abandoned the trail. The summit of Lady can be seen high above. We still have another thousand feet of elevation to gain. 

A strategically-placed cairn points the way. Above the Endless Staircase, the path zigzags through rugged gullies and spires, frequently seeming to fade and vanish. That’s when we’d inevitably spot one of these lucky ducks to get us back on track.    

After gaining the south shoulder of the mountain, a knife-edge ridge leads to the summit plateau. Big drops on both sides. Astoundingly scenic. We’re almost there! 

On top!! A Swiss family of four, who arrived soon after us, took this photo. They were one of
two parties that we met on the route. My first two attempts, we ran into no other people. So
from that perspective, it was a “busy” day on Lady Mountain! The Zion Lodge, where we got
off the shuttle bus four hours ago, is 2,700 feet directly below. Now all we have to do is
retrace our steps back down.  

Rappelling the Chimney pitch on the descent. There are rap anchor bolts atop the two fifth-class sections. A 25-meter rope is plenty long to get you down. 

Refreshments back at Camp Happy Hour. 

With Lady Mountain in the bag, we spent the next day sightseeing and hiking with the dog. Here, I’m trying to train Toby how to walk on his hind legs so I can pass him off as a child on the Park shuttle bus. No dogs are allowed on the shuttle. Unruly kids are fine. But no dogs. Nonetheless, Toby is a people magnet, especially with children. Everybody wanted to pet the puppy. It was getting ridiculous. I finally hung a sign around his neck that said: "Pet the Puppy: One Dollar." Terry removed it. By the end of the week, he was a celebrity in Springdale, kids calling him by name and rushing over to pet him. Geez. I bought him some cheap sunglasses for a disguise. He chewed them up.

An early morning stroll up Heaps Canyon. It was our last day in Zion, so we dropped our celebrity dog off at Doggy Dude Ranch again and planned a couple of hikes to places where pooches are banned—which is pretty much the whole Park. We hiked first to the Emerald Pools to avoid the crowds that would soon be arriving. (Perfect timing: the hordes were coming up the trail as we were leaving.)    

The impressive north face of Lady Mountain towers over Upper Emerald Pool. There’s a burly aid route, called Ghost Dance, that goes straight up this wall. In Zion, most things are defined in the vertical.

Serviceberry trees were in bloom along the East Mesa Trail, which switchbacks steeply up
the canyon walls to the base of Cable Mountain above. The peak got its name from the
Cable Draw Station that was built on the summit in 1901 by a young Springdale entrepreneur
named David Flannigan. The cable system lowered timber from the mesa down to a sawmill
on the canyon floor. It was the ultimate zip line. The first passenger to ride down was
Flannigan’s dog. It took him just 2½ minutes, and according to Flannigan, he got "real scart."

Ter follows the trail leading into Hidden Canyon, a hanging slot canyon that wasn’t discovered until 1927. Access was next to impossible (the entrance hangs 500 feet off the deck) until a trail could be carved in the sandstone walls to get there.    

A natural arch deep in Hidden Canyon.

Der Pudelhund scores a treat at Camp Happy Hour. Toby’s first road trip was a hit. And thanks to Doggy Dude Ranch, we were able to summit Lady Mountain. Finally. 

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Good Eats in Springdale
MeMe’s Café – Owned and operated by the talented Mechelle Kelin. Fabulous food, shaded outdoor terrace, and dog friendly (Mechelle is an avid dog lover). 

Whiptail Grill – Ter and I had eaten here before in 2009 when it was just getting started. Still serving excellent Southwest cuisine. But not dog friendly, so we got our food to go and dined back at camp. 

National Parks vs Fido
In a nutshell: the Park Service really doesn't want you bringing dogs to National Parks (although, out-of-control children who vandalize canyon walls with graffiti are warmly welcomed). But even with the canine rules stacked against us, our Lady Mountain ascent would not have been possible without a dog-sitter. So the main reason Toby got to go on this trip was because of Doggy Dude Ranch, located just outside Springdale on the Virgin River. Owner/operator Filomenia Diaz-Johnson is a professional dog trainer. She’s awesome. Toby loved spending the day here. Twice.   

Photos     
To see all the pics from this trip, go here.