But it does exist, and we were going to find it.
Our first stop, though, was the hospital in Las Vegas, where my step-dad, Darrell, was being held hostage. He’s kinda like me in that respect: We don’t do hospitals. Nevertheless, his doctor insisted that he needed heart surgery right away, so off they whisked him, code red, for a 100-mile ambulance ride. He was supposed to have had the operation on Friday. But due to a scheduling mix-up, they had to postpone it for a few days. We found him sitting in his hospital bed, clicking through mindless channels on the TV. For someone who needed heart surgery, he certainly looked healthy. His only ailment appeared to be cabin fever. Still, he gave us a recap of the cardiogram that piqued his doctor’s concern, and then the wild ride to Vegas.
“You know how much that ambulance cost? Seventeen thousand dollars!”
Thank God for Medicare.
It was mid-afternoon when we jumped back onto I-15 and headed into Utah. Rain pummeled us at the state border, a dusting of snow in the high country above Toquerville. We drove past a stately ranch: brick house in a grove of cottonwoods, an American flag waving in the front yard, verdant pastures full of ostriches. Yes, ostriches. Cattle ranches are so passé.
We met Dan and Becky at Watchman Campground in Zion. They had driven down from Provo that morning and had already made camp. Joining them were their friends, Heather and Scott. Becky and Heather were into a lively hacky-sack rally when we pulled up. Dan handed me a beer. We were off to a good start.
While Terry and I pitched our tent, Dan cooked up a delectable supper of grilled fajitas. Then we gathered close around the campfire with food and wine, discussing tomorrow’s plans. Though it was cold and a bit drizzly, stars were beginning to peek through the cloud cover—good news, for sure. When the wine bottles were empty, we crawled into our tents and fell fast asleep. Then it began to rain.
Easter Sunday, April 12th. Surprisingly, clear azure skies greeted us in the morning. After breakfast, I divided up the gear: a 30-meter rope; harnesses; five Camalots; a handful of slings and carabiners. Getting out of camp took longer than I had anticipated, and it was nine o’clock by the time we started hiking to the Park visitor’s center to catch the tram shuttle up Zion Canyon (public vehicles are banned). Then I had to find the start of the un-marked Lady Mountain Trail. This consumed valuable time, for I initially led us down the Emerald Pools Trail in the wrong direction. Oops. But alas, we found it: a barely discernible path winding up a steep, brushy slope.
The old trail zig-zagged up through pinyon pines, gaining several hundred feet before encountering the first cliff band. Now the climbing began, up cracks and ledges to a 30-foot slab called the Moki Steps, where the Ancient Ones carved oval toe-holds into the sandstone to make the ascent easier. Still, the slab was seriously exposed: If you slipped here, it’s a nasty fall. For this reason, I pulled out the rope and harnesses. I led it easy enough, and gaining the top, plugged in a cam and belayed the others up.
Summit Fever: It can get you to the top, or it can get you into trouble. Lord knows I opposed turning back when so close to the top, and after all that hard work. I knew we could summit by 4:30, if we kept moving. And Terry and I had brought headlamps in case we were caught out after dark. It was doable. We should go for it.
But then my sensible side overruled: If we went for the summit, nightfall would catch us halfway down the mountain. And even with two headlamps, it would be next to impossible to follow the circuitous route down in utter darkness, with treacherous drop-offs everywhere. Therefore we would end up huddled together on a frozen ledge until dawn. And Scott unquestionably would not be at work in the morning.
So we turned and headed back down.
Monday, April 13th. More sunny weather. Dan and Becky broke camp and headed back to Provo directly after breakfast. They’re both professors at Brigham Young University and Becky had a biology class to teach that afternoon. After seeing them off, Terry and I packed a lunch and took the shuttle tram up-canyon to the Narrows.
We hiked up the trail, to where it terminates on a sandy river bank. Several people milled at the water’s edge. Nobody ventured into the frigid river. We settled onto a sunny boulder and snacked on tuna and crackers, watching the local squirrels con food from the tourists. These furry critters are very effective beggars. One of them approached us and stood on his back haunches, as cute as can be, and within reach of Terry’s food bag. She flicked him with her bandana and off he scampered. I don’t get it: If Wall Street is entitled to hand-outs, why not squirrels? (In fact, one could even argue that rodents have higher values than Wall Street vermin, but don’t get me started.)
We checked into the humble Canyon Ranch Motel in Springdale at the end of the day, reeking of sweat and campfire smoke. A hot shower was first on the agenda. Mark, the motel proprietor, his long hair pulled back in a ponytail, recommended the Whiptail Grill for dinner. We gave it try. It was a funky little establishment, located in a renovated 1940s-era gas station. Strange, I know. But the food was top notch.
Also that evening, I spoke with my sister Therese, who gave me an update on Darrell and his surgery. Everything was good. He was recovering in ICU, and if all went to plan, he’d be able to go home on Friday. This was definitely good news. Our original plan had been to stay in Springdale another night, but now it made more sense to head back to Vegas tomorrow. But first: A recon of Aires Butte…
Tuesday, April 14th. We checked out of our room, ate breakfast at a local coffee shop (Utah coffee blows), dropped by the Springdale post office to mail our income tax returns—doing our part to “stimulate” the economy—and then drove into the Park. The sun was gone. In its place were dark clouds and the threat of rain. Actually it wasn’t a “threat”—on the drive up Highway 9 to the tunnels, it started to sprinkle. Climbing was out of the question now. But hiking into Aires Butte to check out a route was feasible.
I had first learned of Aires Butte from a Climbing magazine article a while back. There are no published guidebooks that list it, so what little I do know about the route was culled from internet sources. It is rated 5.6, four pitches of runout slab in a backcountry setting. All you supposedly need are four quick-draws and two ropes to rappel the route when you’re done. It sounded enticing.
Wednesday, April 15th. Terry and I met Mom and Therese first thing in the morning in the motel lobby. We climbed into Mom’s van and drove to the hospital, which was practically across the street from the motel, but with the cold, gusty winds, nobody was keen on walking there. Once inside the hospital, Therese did a superb job of navigating the maze of halls to ICCU.
We found Darrell in his room, sitting up in bed and looking mighty good for someone who had gone through heart surgery 48 hours ago. Yesterday the nurses had him up walking around the ICCU ward, and they told him the sooner he could gain his strength, the sooner he could go home. So he did several more laps around the ward. Terry had purchased several magazines for him to read between laps: PC World, Popular Mechanics, Popular Science and others.
We stayed for most of the morning. But in due course, it was time to start home. The storm was moving east, a slash of blue sky ahead on the desert horizon. Mother Nature had thrown an assortment of weather our way the past few days. And as we motored down I-15, the plans for our return to Zion began to take shape. We had unfinished business: Lady Mountain and Aires Butte (maybe this fall?).
To guarantee a successful summit of Lady Mountain, we fleshed out a better strategy… 1) Be on the route no later than 8:00—we lost three precious hours of daylight due to a late start; 2) Cut the thirty-meter rope down to twenty, which saves weight and still gives us enough cord (barely) to rappel the Chimney on the descent; 3) Bring just two Camalots (#.75 and #2) to save even more weight; 4) Leave the climbing gear at the top of the Corner—this is the last technical section, so there’s no need to lug it up any further. In fact, Terry proposed ditching the climbing paraphernalia altogether, just leave it in the car. This has its merits, for the technical parts are short and easy. However the 5.4 Chimney is slightly overhanging, and while rappelling it is a snap, down-climbing it is tricky because you can’t readily see your foothold at the crux move. Screw up here without a rope and you’re looking at a very bad fall.
Leave the rope... Take the rope... Decisions, decisions. Nevertheless, we were happy for the adventure and good company. We were also elated for Darrell’s good fortune: a seventeen-thousand-dollar ambulance ride with a happy ending. All journeys should end this way.
To view the entire Zion slide show, go to…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/91696789@N00/3581865219/in/set-72157618881380215/
(As of this posting, Darrell is back home, walking the dog, tinkering in the garage, playing with his new MacBook Pro, surfing the internet for the best jokes and political cartoons, and driving Mom crazy.)
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